Please welcome our Mom in the Spotlight: Samantha
Hey mama, tell us a little about you.
Describe your family.
I have been married for 11 years to Richard. We have a 9 year old son named Quinton, a 6 year old daughter named Anneleise, and a 10 month old daughter named Iliza. Oh and we also have a 6 year old dog named Oscar.
What is your favourite part of your family?
Well that is hard to say. It may change depending on the day. However, without my husband, I wouldn’t have the family that I have today.
What has been the biggest challenge for your family?
I am going to say that we have had a few challenges. First was moving from the U.S to Canada. Richard is Canadian and I am American. In March of 2007, we moved to Ontario. It was difficult for me only because I moved and got pregnant within a month and I was very lonely without my family around for support. Another challenge was when we moved our family from Ontario to Alberta in 2014. Our kids had a hard time adjusting but we now love where we are despite being thousands of miles away from most of our family.
How has motherhood changed you, your ideas about motherhood and/or how you see the world?
Wow ummmmm…… I’m going to say that it made me realize (6 years after having my first), that I needed to love myself if I really wanted to be the best mom I could be. I needed to learn that putting myself first isn’t selfish but mandatory and that my kids won’t hate or resent me for doing it. If they see me loving who I am, it will reinstate that behaviour and they will love themselves fully.
Having children has also taught me to laugh more, smile more, and try not to take life so seriously. We are meant to have fun, be a bit wild, get dirty, and love too hard. Life is too short not to do the above!
What is your favourite way to spend “Me Time”?
I love to read and write. Writing is my comfort. It allows me to connect deeper to myself and also share my story.
What was your sex education like and how do you feel it be different for your children?
Honestly it was not a subject we spoke about. I was raised Catholic and was taught not to have sex until marriage. When I was 18, I was raped. The year that followed was a lonely and dangerous path for me. I didn’t tell anyone what happened for fear of the backlash I would receive. For 11 years I kept the rape to myself thinking that it was my fault. That I somehow did something wrong.
I want my children to be able to talk to me. I want to teach them that sex isn’t wrong but that it is something to be treasured. My 9 year old son just had health class and we have been very open.
All of my children see me naked. I want to teach them that being sexual is different than being naked. I want them comfortable in their skin and I want them to respect themselves and know that I am always here for them to talk to!!
What has been the hardest part to navigate in intimate moments after having children?
Finding the time to make it more than a quickie. We have gone from laying in bed all day having sex to locking ourselves in the bathroom for 5 minutes while every child knocks on the door screaming asking us if everything is ok. The romance has kind of disappeared. I want the nights where we stay up all night exploring each other. I miss those connections.
How do you stay connected and intimate with your partner(s)?
This one is tough for me. I’m struggling a bit as I’m battling PPD and just finding that even wanting sex is a battle. I’m trying to be more spontaneous and fun. I created a sex box for us with fun coupons and toys in it. I have done photos, sent dirty messages. This is an area that I know needs improvement in my life. I’m only 32! My sexy life needs to be fantastic!! HahAha!
Anything else you want to tell us?
I own BeYOUtiful Box, a subscription box for women. The purpose is to create an opportunity for self care and self love. We need to learn that taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish. I deliver self love to your doorstep!
I also write a blog (same website) showcasing my life. It’s meant to show my struggles, my wins, and finding myself after becoming a mom.
Spotlight on Mom: Samantha