5 Tips for Doing the Sexy Sex (Ya’know AFTER kids) – Tip 3

On September 28, 2017, Posted by , In Knowledge, With No Comments

Here are 5 Tips for doing the sexy sex after children (whether you had them, adopted them, or they moved in).

This blog post was getting incredibly long, so I split each tip into it’s own blog post. I will release the blog posts every three days so you can really drink in the information before you are hit with another tip.

Please feel free to come back to this blog whenever you need the refresher. These tips are not in order of importance, what is more important is completely up to you.

  1. Get a lock for the door and then stop feeling guilty for having adult time.

  2. Find out what helps you turn off mom mode.

  3. Love your body, or if that isn’t going to work, be OK with your body.

  4. Try something new, and letting go of “normal” sex.

  5. Take time to snack, erotically.

Bonus?

As a note, this is generally for those who are in long term relationships with a couple of kids, no judgements if that isn’t where you are at (or even where you want to be). You can exchange mom with anything that works for you (care giver, demanding career peep, spoonie etc)

Take what you need and leave what you don’t!

  • also as an FYI, there are some affliate links)

Let’s Get Started!


Love your body, or if that isn’t going to work, be OK with your body.

I know you see a lot of messages that are DEMANDING that you love your body, I mean I just did in the heading of this tip! I know that that can feel SO impossible. You may have this image in your head that the insecurities of your body is all that anyone sees, especially when you are NAKED, and they feel the same way about them (that image is lying to you). Depending on the severity of how low you can get about your body, this isn’t something that can be flipped over night. It takes YEARS of work to undo the harm of internalized ideals of what a person should look like. If you believe anything please believe that:

YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE IN THE BODY YOU HAVE (found on Summer Innanen’s website).

Elle Chase’s Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life is an amazing resource to learn how ALL bodies (especially larger people) can experience amazing sex. (click the picture to get your copy!)

I am not saying you can’t have good sex and not like your body at the same time. I won’t be the one to tell you that you can’t truly love someone until you love yourself. For me it is easier to love others than yourself.

You can have good sex and love others without loving yourself, but it will benefit the sex, AND YOU, a whole lot more if you were at least neutral to positive with your body. I’m not asking you for quick results, take as much time as you need.

This is also an important sex tip because of TIME. Imagine all of the time you will get back if you stopped thinking negatively about yourself? That means more time for sexy thoughts ;).

Confidence is the ONE thing I encourage people to fake (I could have made an additional tip “Stop faking your orgasms!”).

 

 

Fake (confidence) it till you make (feel) it.

Say the words “I am enough”, “I am sexy”, “My body is kick ass!”. Say it DEEP within your own body with confidence. If you are feeling yourself, you can include a power pose!

Since what we have heard since we were little is that we weren’t enough, that we were too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, too dark, too pale etc. You are told that you have flaws and that products and behaviours that can help you rid yourself of them.

You are enough, and if you tell yourself enough times with conviction. You start to believe it. You get this image in your head for what “beauty” is supposed to be.

As I said above sometimes it is easier to love and accept others than it is to love yourself. By surrounding yourself with diverse bodies (size, skin colour, abilities etc), it can open up the amount of love you have to offer.

The best place to do this I find is on Instagram! Here is a great resource with over 100 people to follow to widen your perception of what beautiful means.

http://www.themilitantbaker.com/2017/04/diversify-your-instagram-feed.html
(since you will be on the website aaaanyway! Also check out The Militant Baker’s blog!)

And while you are on Instagram you can also follow Euphoric Epiphany!

let us know in the comments what your favourite Instagram is!


Here are those tips again. Remember, if the link doesn’t work that tip hasn’t been published yet.

  1. Get a lock for the door and then stop feeling guilty for having adult time.
  2. Find out what helps you turn off mom mode.
  3. Love your body, or if that isn’t going to work, be OK with your body.
  4. Try something new, and letting go of “normal” sex.
  5. Take time to snack, erotically.

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