Women’s Orgasms Matter Because…
Why the F wouldn’t they???
Unfortunately, there definitely seems to be some data that shows that women are not orgasming at the same rate as their male counterparts. Well, let me also include that women who are sleeping with their male counterparts are not orgasming at the same rate (or even close!). When women have sex with other women or masturbating. They are orgasming just fine (generally)
*As a side note this article will have binary language, there are no studies that I can find that can include trans or non binary folk. You are so welcome to share your experience or point me in the right direction.*
At first, the female orgasm was just a myth.
Then women were treated for Hysteria (not a real thing y’all) with a vibrator to climax.
Freud told everyone that women who didn’t orgasm through vaginal penetration were immature.
Then women tried to let everyone know about the clitoris and the g-spot but we were made to think they were cray cray.
Then women who couldn’t orgasm were just seen as difficult and broken.
(This timeline can be moved around a bit)
WELL, WELCOME TO 2017!
Female orgasm is REAL and has many many benefits for the person, the relationship, the family, and THE WORLD.
Vibrators have come a long way and they are super cool! They are not meant to replace human touch, they are a way to enhance it. (Unless you don’t want human sexual touch, no judgement here!)
We know Freud had his issues with women, and mothers. *historic eyeroll* So, yea any way! It’s perfectly NORMAL for a woman NOT to climax through vaginal penetration. Only 25-30% of women have reliable and consistent orgasms through penetration! So the rest of us have bigger pleasure centres (generally the clitoris, and it could even be argued that orgasms from vaginal penetration and just because of the inner clitoris.)
History and science had, and still have, trouble believe women and their experiences. That’s why some STILL have arguments about the G-spot and if Squirting is pee (it’s not!). TRUST in women!
Then we got this tip and started to explore what desire is and what it means. For SO long women who did not desire sex were seen as “frigid” and sometimes even diagnoses with Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder. Now we know so much better that desire isn’t always this random force that just shows up from now where. For SO many people it’s a force that comes on AFTER you become aroused.
So Let’s Close That Gap!
Firstly, we need to stop treating male orgasms as the GOAL or as the END in any sexual encounter. A man will survive just fine if they don’t get to climax. A woman’s CLIMAX is just as important. It’s not something to try for 2 minutes and if it doesn’t happen too bad.
I work with moms to improve their sexual lives. How, in 2 minutes are they supposed to turn off mom mode, relax, get aroused, desire sex, and orgasm? I don’t think that is fair, right, or physically possible for most moms! Let’s give more time to have women come down from mom mode and get into sex goddess mode. Take it slow and appreciate her body for all it has done, is doing, and will continue to do!
Here is a list of (some of) things we can change to have women orgasming more:
- Stop overvaluing penetrative sex.
- Focus on pleasure during sex education.
- Educate women AND men about the clitoris.
- Embrace toys in the bedroom.
- Process and work through stress and body image issues.
- Communicate about sex.
- Let her enjoy receiving Oral Sex.
- Practice mindfulness and getting back into your body.
- LISTEN TO WOMEN
Continue the conversation on twitter by using the hashtag
**This post is apart of the #summer100 Sex Blogger Challenge**
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